It’s hard stating your opinions in public. I think part of the reason is we feel we should be complete. You don’t want to say something and then find that you’ve changed your mind. People want to be consistent. This is impossible if you’re always learning though. You should be changing your mind with new and compelling information.
In five years time, I’m sure I’ll look back on these posts and cringe at my stupidity. Then in another five years, I’ll look back on the posts from those times cringe at my stupidity. It will be a never ending process and that’s okay.
I’m not naturally very social and I prefer to spend time at home, but I think improving my ability to connect with people is important. I believe trying to understand and helping others will lead to a more fulfilling life.
I’ve tried to start small and stay consistent. I found that an easy way to get started was by reaching out to old contacts and reconnecting. I usually have an initial aversion to doing it, but I’ve always feel good after the conversation. My goal is to reach out to at least one person a week.
I also prime myself with a few thoughts before anything social.
- What can I learn about someone’s unique experiences?
- What is the person’s unique story?
- What are the person’s values, motivations, and interests?
- Is there any way I can help?
Sometimes, I suck and conversations fall flat, but I think the key is to keep trying to move forward and improve.
Link to Book Notes:
The Charisma Myth
Give and Take
How to Win Friends and Influence People